If Not Now, When?

The end of the year is approaching. Everyone is caught up in preparations for the holidays. Not surprisingly, concerns of the pelvic floor may be taking a back seat at this time. 

In a very appropriate arrangement of priorities, matters of bathroom habits, physical performance and sexuality are a few rungs down on the priority ladder when placed up against family, gifts, and food. What are the reasons behind, and the cost of delaying attention to pelvic health in this way?

Generally pelvic floor problems, when put in context during the holidays, are not considered and “emergency situation.” A problem with bladder control or sexual pain may be something that you have lived with for several weeks, months or even years. It may be yourself whom you are concerned about, or perhaps you are thinking of a friend or loved one. Someone is missing out on the best parts of life, due to trouble with bladder control, pain with sexual activity, or pelvic pain that interferes with daily movements, positions, or activities. You may have already tried finding a solution and not succeeded. Perhaps you’ve been down the road a number of times -searching online, talking to a friend or two, trying the latest magical method, device, exercise, or supplement that promises to cure you, only to find yourself in the same predicament a few weeks later.
So at this time of year, finding the solution is likely not front and center in your plans.
 
At the same time, since you’re still reading, allow me to paint the following picture for you.
 
The stories that I encounter every week in my office include:

• the 38 year old mom who loves running but whose leaky bladder has not allowed her to run more than ½ mile since the birth of her 2nd child who is now 10
• the 59 year old grandmother of two whose prolapse has progressed to the point that she cannot pick up her 5-year old grandson any more
• the 47 year old software engineer who has worked so hard to help his company succeed but can no longer sit to do his job at work for more than 1 hour at a time, and whose sex life is also suffering due to his pelvic pain.

So the question is, why do so many people, women and men alike, suffer with pelvic health problems for so long before getting the right kind of help to solve their problem?
 
Upon inquiring into the thought process behind this timeline, the most common reasons that seem to hold people back are the following:
 

1. Not being aware that this is really a problem. Thankfully this is becoming less of a common issue, as people are becoming more aware of what is healthy, and not putting up with their bodies not working properly.
2. Not believing that there is a solution that will work for them. This one is understandable, but breaks my heart. I feel for people who have been let down by promises for magical cures with no effort or personal commitment required. If you are reading this, I have a secret for you: There is no free lunch where it comes to your health. My guess is that you are on board with this by now.
3. Believing that the condition will just get better on it’s own. This is reasonable to hope for if the problem has been around for 6-8 weeks or less and has been improving. If not, then it’s time to look beyond simply the passage of time for a solution.
4. Embarassment, shame, and stigma. Sadly, there is still quite a strong taboo around discussing matters of bladder, bowel, and sexual function with friends, family, even with medical providers who have not asked questions on these topics. Some health care practitioners will be there to listen to all of your concerns – and I will be the first in line! – but you may need to open the conversation yourself.

 
In addition to these reasons, many people do not want to risk investing their valuable time and money, only to find themselves without a complete and lasting solution. After a person has been let down before, I can understand the tendency to stay in the comfort of one’s own home, searching on the internet now and then, mostly living with their concern buried deep inside. Admittedly, I might do the same in certain situations.
After struggling for a long time, many people may not want to make another bad decision, and risk looking bad or silly to their friends, partner, or again, even to their medical provider who may have said “You don’t need any of that, just go home and do some Kegels on your own. If that doesn’t work then we’ll do surgery.” So they wait some more, all this time they are missing out of vitally important aspects of their life - family time, social life, sexual activity, exercise, sleep, or others. This is the story that I hear each week from clients telling me what their journey was like up until they finally decided to come in and find out whether I’d be able to help them.
What exactly was it that ultimately helped these individuals - who turned out to be quite happy to have come to work with me - to first take that step to come in for a first visit, and then make the leap to decide that this is their time to commit to their health?
The answers I get are usually along the lines that simply enough time passed and they became tired enough of living as they were. They were reassured by all the other stories that they had read and heard, of other health-conscious, life-loving individuals who came before them with similar stories who also got better. They really wanted to get back to living life with their family, friends, and careers as they had envisioned. They didn’t want to lose another precious day living in this limited way. Many also became worried of losing the chance to really achieve their dreams in life. It became worthwhile to meet with an established expert, in order to get answers as to what was causing their problem to persist, and what it would take to finally overcome it. In short, the risk of waiting became greater than the “risk” they felt were taking by coming in for an initial visit or committing to change their health.
In the words of the great ancient Jewish sages, “If I am not for myself, than who will be for me? If I am only for myself, then what am I? And if not now, then when?”
 If you are struggling with a pelvic health concern, and feel that you have gotten to the point that perhaps you have more to lose by waiting any longer to find your best solution, then click the button below and request a courtesy phone consultation.
As one more year comes close to wrapping up, we become acutely aware that time is the one truly non-renewable resource that we have.
How will you be spending your time in your years to come? 
When would you get started if you knew you could not fail?

I'm Ready to Begin